27 Jan How Positive Thinking Can Help You Have Better Relationships
The other day I had a conversation with a friend who announced she was in a new relationship of 3 months. She said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me….but I’m just becoming so needy!” She proceeded to tell me that her boyfriend would always send her good morning texts, and then one day when he didn’t, she started obsessing over it. The following day when he didn’t, she was fuming and thought something was seriously wrong.
Well, I had to laugh. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard that from my female friends. To an extent it’s common amongst women to feel like this in the first year of a relationship. But, if you let those obsessive thoughts happen all the time, then it can soon start to cause a problem.
The key to a good relationship is positive thinking about it. After all, our thoughts become our reality. Coming from a place of fear or negativity is where the trouble starts. Think about it. If you’re worried whether your boyfriend is thinking something bad thoughts of you because he didn’t text you that day, you’re coming from a place of fear.
And even if you have an incredibly understanding boyfriend, there is a chance that you can push him a little bit too far. One too many times and they’re out.
What you want to do is be coming from a place of positivity, love and confidence. Now, sometimes a guy will give you reason to have concerns, so I’m not telling you to completely ignore your instincts. But if you know that as a couple you both have love, respect and trust for each other, then just know that you can both work it out so that you’re coming from a place of positivity.
Here are some tips for helping you stay positive in a relationship:
Agree on a willingness to change
This ties in with my article on conscious relationships – all that’s needed is for the both of you to make the decision to make changes within the relationship. Once you have expressed a willingness to be more positive, you can both start taking the steps to make it happen. Call each other out when you notice negative patterns coming in. Relationships take work but they can be so enjoyable if you take that journey together.
Think of all the things you like about your partner
When you get into a relationship it’s easy to start noticing your partner’s flaws or weird habits. But there are so many things that attracted you to them. Perhaps it’s their intelligence. Perhaps it’s their generous nature. Perhaps it’s their strong biceps. Perhaps it’s their wicked sense of humour. Let the positive thoughts drown out any negative thoughts about that person and be thankful for all those things about them.
Write down nice things about your partner
The action of writing something down will actually make it sink in a lot more. Start a journal where you write about all the things you are grateful for, both in your life and in your partner. The simple act of journaling each day will remind you of all the positive things about your relationship.
Become aware of negative thinking
Negative thinking can soon spiral out of control. The more negative thoughts you have, the more likely you are to have self fulfilling prophecies or to attract negativity into your life. Worrying and letting anxiety take hold is just going to cause unwanted effects. Stop and think for a second. Why are you overthinking?
Simplify it. Do I love talking to this person and being around them? Does this person enjoy being around me? If the answer is yes, then what is there to be afraid of?
Next time you have a negative thought, acknowledge it and stop it dead in its tracks. The more you do this, the more you can give precedence to positive thoughts.
Focus on the dos and not the dont’s
In a relationship it’s easy to start saying things like “Don’t leave the toilet seat up!”, “Don’t blame me”…but see how you’re focusing on the “don’ts”? Instead, focus on the things that you do want. Once you’ve decided what you want, you can make it become your reality. Take steps to minimise the word don’t in your vocabulary.
Focus on fun and meaningful relationships
Relationships should be fun. Focus on the things you’d like to do together. Make your dreams your reality. Take that adventure to a different country. Hop in the car and explore the national parks. Make plans to buy that new home or to have that new car you’ve always wanted. Just make plans to achieve something great 🙂