law of attraction love

Law of Attraction and love: Can you attract a specific person?

The law of attraction is the simple idea that whatever thoughts we put out eventually manifest and become reality. We can attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on.

So if we focus on the negative we will attract negative things in our life and if we focus on the positive we will attract positive things. Proponents of the law of attraction believe that it can be utilized in love to manifest our ideal relationship.

Want to know how to put it into practice? Here are some practical tips for how to use the law of attraction in love:

Focus on you

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to love, the moment you get over someone or stop thinking about them, they suddenly pop back into your life?

Exes somehow have a magic radar. You enter into a new relationship and then all of a sudden your old flames are popping into your DMs. That’s because you’ve let go. You’re not focusing on them.

The key to making law of attraction work for you is simply focusing on self love and raising your vibration.

See the love in everything

Love is all around you. Let it in. Look around at your relationships with friends and family. Appreciate the things they do for you and savor those moments. Spend time with them, even send them a positive text message wishing them a nice day. The positivity rubs off.

If you see someone helping a homeless man in the street, or a baby smiles at you on the subway, appreciate those little moments. Remember love is everywhere and take time to be present. Put that phone away!

Become what you want

Often we’re attracted to someone because they have the qualities that we secretly feel we lack. For example, when a man puts his work priorities before you, perhaps you secretly admire that ambition and determination.

Perhaps you secretly wish that you were more focused on your career and able to say “no” when you needed to focus. Perhaps the guy has a passion for playing football and you secretly wish that you had a sport or hobby that you like to do. Or maybe he’s close with his family and that’s what you like about him.

Instead of longing for all the things you lack by finding them in another person, perhaps you should put the focus on yourself. Focus on your career, focus on your hobbies, focus on your family.

law of attraction love

Journal and meditate

Journaling is a great way to set your intentions. Start a gratitude journal and write down all the things that you are grateful for. Write down something you’ll let you of and a few things you will focus on that day. This helps you organize your thoughts into actions.

Meditation can help you identify what you’re feeling and clear your mind. But remember, don’t ignore your feelings – take those messages and decide what you can do to act on them.

Identify your limiting beliefs

Say your common thoughts are “No-one will love me” and “I’m not good enough”. Write all of them down. Then challenge them with positive affirmations. “I will find love” and “I am good enough”. Recite your positive affirmations daily until they stick.

Have boundaries and don’t settle for mistreatment

If you want the relationship of your dreams then it’s important that you don’t let in things into your life that don’t serve you well.

Use your intuition. If you see red flags and someone isn’t treating you right, don’t stick around. By having boundaries you protect your happiness and weed out the bad from the good. You save yourself from heartache in preparation for the right relationship.

When we’re lonely we can end up accepting mistreatment just because we’d rather have someone than be alone. If a relationship situation doesn’t feel good, know when it’s time to walk away.

Create a vision board

Law of attraction experts say that creating a vision board can help in manifesting our desires. You can also meditate and visualize the type of relationship you would like. How it feels, what you will be doing together, what the other person is like etc. Visualize that you already HAVE it, don’t focus on simply wanting it.

Identify your intentions and the kind of relationship you desire

Write down your intentions, for example, “I will have a happy and loving relationship”. Write down what your ideal relationship would be like. What values and personality characteristics would your partner have? What are their interests? This will help you have a clearer idea of what you’re looking for.

Take actions

Some people think you can just think the thought and magically the thing you want will appear. If you want money, you don’t sit on your backside hoping to win the lottery. No. You build a business, or you apply for a new job with better pay.

The same goes for your dating life. Don’t complain that you never meet anyone if you’re always sitting at home watching TV. Put yourself in situations where you might meet people, whether that’s your local bar, a hiking club, a workshop, a language class or an art gallery. If you want to, sign up for dating apps. Get busy mingling!

Using the law of attraction on a specific person, does it work?

Personally I don’t think you can just attract a specific person by wanting them badly enough. No amount of meditating and visualizing can get a person who doesn’t want to be with you, be with you.

For starters, they have their own free will and their own thoughts. You might be using the law of attraction to attract them, they might be using the law of attraction to try to attract someone else!

The problem with trying to attract a specific person is that you’re not really trusting the universe or letting go. You’re using a scarcity mindset, believing they’re the only person for you. That means you’re essentially focusing on what you lack. When it doesn’t work, you start to feel more and more disheartened. And you might even be kidding yourself that this person is perfect by thinking about all the positives when in fact they’re a real ass!

The more you focus on them the less you focus on yourself too. And how is that attractive? They’re far more likely to become attracted to you if you have all these amazing accomplishments and things going on in your life.

Realize you’re fine with or without them – the moment that you do that, it might just come.

It’s better to say, “look I trust that the universe will bring me the person that is the best fit for me.” It could be the person that you have your heart set on, or it could be someone else.

You’ll attract who you are at the time – the person who matches who you are at the time. So become the person you want to be, and then perhaps the relationship will fall into place.

The big question: does the law of attraction work?

I’ve just listed all the ways you can practice the law of attraction in love. But does the law of attraction work?

Personally I think the law of attraction is great at building positivity and a positive mindset. I use all these methods in my daily life because they make me feel better about myself. It certainly can’t hurt.

But here’s the thing. Based on the law of attraction, people who worry and have doubts all the time will have more of the same. Yet I’m sure there have been times where you have worried about stuff, only to realize you actually had nothing to worry about. Not all negative thoughts become a reality!

There are people who have been successful and achieved things even while battling depression, anxiety, worry etc. Why? Because they took actions, they persevered.

When practicing law of attraction, I’ve actually read that some people start feeling panicky. They feel like they must be positive at all times and they start thinking that if one bad thought creeps in, it will ruin all their hard work.

It’s OK to have doubts and worries. That’s how our minds are wired. We’re not meant to be all positivity and light. Sometimes our thoughts are designed to help us spot danger or red flags. Don’t just override your alarm system.

Actions are what take you where you want to go. You can manifest what you want by good old fashioned hard work. In dating, that means putting yourself out there as much as possible.

Some people will tell you that if the law of attraction isn’t working you’re just not doing it right. That you truly have to believe you will have the thing you’ve set your intentions on. You must have too many doubts in your mind.

In my opinion, you can’t just magic things up just by thoughts. You have to focus on the right actions in order to get what you truly want.


Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, instead my relationship advice comes from real life dating experience and lessons learnt by trial and error. All the guys I’ve dated have been very different but I certainly came across my fare share of “Mr Unavailable” types, so if you find yourself in a situation with a guy who won’t commit, hopefully these stories will help.

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