There are many commonalities between online dating and traditional real world dating.
They both require you to stand out, look attractive, and create a good impression. The means by which these are accomplished are extremely different, however.
Unlike meeting someone in person, your online dating profile is a quick glimpse that often lasts for just a moment. And yet, most people don’t take advantage of that fact.
Thankfully, there are plenty of things you can do to take advantage of the unique characteristics of the online world that are backed by tons of social research.
Here are four things you can change on your dating profile today to find greater success.
1. Tell Your Story
When you create a dating profile, you are writing a story, not filling out a form at the DMV. That is why it’s important to demonstrate your traits and qualities through narratives instead of simply stating that you are X, Y, and Z.
For example, if you consider yourself adventurous, don’t just say so, talk about the time when you crashed a wedding, got into the family photos, and tore up the dance floor! If you’re funny, be witty and highlight the things that make you so.
It’s easy to list your features, but much more difficult to demonstrate them. The best profiles are those which clearly have had a lot of time and effort put into making them worth reading.
Just think about the profiles of the most interesting people you’ve come across. What made them compelling and what served as a quick turnoff? More often than not, it’s the storytellers who attract the most interest.
2. Talk About Yourself
We all have a list of things we look for in a partner. Thankfully, these are things that can be found in other people’s profiles. They shouldn’t be in yours. Or, at least not as the dominant theme.
You may have heard of the 80-20 rule and it definitely applies to your online dating profile. Keep 80% of the content you related, and save the rest to talk about the things that you want in a match.
Remember, people are looking at your profile to learn more about who you are, not about who you want them to be. Most people can be trusted to decide if they are an appropriate match and even if you don’t feel that way, you can always look at their profile to be certain.
3. Stay Positive
When it comes to language, what matters most is not what we say, but how we say it. Positivity is one of the most desireable traits. Negativity, on the other hand, serves as an instant turnoff for most.
But often times people are negative without even realizing it. Sure, there is outright negativity, with statements like “I hate camping”, but there is also more subtle negativity of a more passive aggressive nature.
You can never go wrong by being positive. Instead of talking about what you don’t like, talk about the things that you do enjoy. If you hate camping, write that you love indoor activities.
People want to be around happy positivity and will quickly get away from the opposite. They may not realize why, but their mind does.
4. Choose the Right Photos
If you are in need of a dramatic change, you may want to choose different photos. There are many things people subconsciously look for in your photos and if they’re not there, it may result in gaining few matches.
First and foremost, I always recommending choosing a profile photo in which you are smiling. A simple smile is the best way to convey happiness, approachability, and most of all, openness. There is nothing easier that a man or woman can do to look welcoming.
Next, add additional photos that conform to the story you just told in your profile. Share a photo from the wedding you crashed as proof of your escapades. People on dating sites love that kind of thing.
Finally, skip the selfies. The only thing worse than a girl flashing duck face is a guy doing so. The only story that a selfie tells is that you are self-obsessed. Opt for photos taken by others at times and event when you were truly yourself.
About the Author
Pauline Plott is a London-based blogger who became a dating guru after learning the psychology behind modern romance and signing up for every dating website in pursuit of relationship bliss. She shares her reviews and opinions on DatingSpot.co.uk.