I am not going to lie to you; there are a million and one ways to fuck up when it comes to meeting, dating and attracting women. 1,000,001 ways. Maybe that figure is conservative. That being said – You can still put your best foot forward in the interaction with a little bit of simple framing. Framing – the psychology kind, not the art of hanging shit on your wall kind. And one way I like to do that is to frame yourself as a casual guy at the bar who is there to make friends, not preying on women like a horny coyote at a watering hole. Seriously, the best way to set yourself apart from the crowd is to take off your weird, ‘pick up girls’ vibe and take a more harmonious cool guy position.
Now, a genuine, cool guy position can take years to actually develop, or it can be one of those things where you just become it – but I don’t dare go down that philosophical rabbit hole and will just give you the quick junkie fix that you came for: The one liner.
This simple trick to pick up women in a bar has worked countless times for me.
Let me preface this with that for this to work, you need to actually believe it and send off cool, laidback, non-needy guy vibes. And you will probably get a muted reaction when you do it the first several times, and that is okay, – good actually, because you will then be able to recognize the difference when women start to show interest down the road.
Sending out the Right Vibe
One of my favorite tricks ways to meet women in the bar is to simply establish fairly early on the interaction that I am a cool guy friend not there to pick them up. Here is an example of something a cool guy friend would say:
“Hey, if you girls see anyone here tonight that you want to meet, just give me a holler and I will totally wingman the shit out of it for you”
Now this seemingly innocuous statement, while it may seem like you are being deceitful, the point is that you really need to not do it just to try to get them attracted to you. You need to actually be there to have fun, and be cool to them. Every guy in that joint is trying to go up and impress, ‘neg’ or do some other stupid bullshit they read somewhere or their buddy told them about. But how many guys are going there to be cool with them like they are already their friend?
From my experience, the best lovers, romances, relationships come from a place of generosity and not trying to ‘get something from someone’. Beautiful women all day, everyday, have to deal with men trying to ‘get something’ from them. By taking the position of, “Hey, let me help you or if you want me to hook you up and fail on the grenade for you” cool guy attitude, you are offering value versus trying to take it.
So if you want to try one simple re-frame when you go to the bar next time, go there to try to make friends and treat girls like you would treat you best gal pals and help them navigate this weirdo minefield. You maybe surprised of what kind of friends and ladies you pique the interest of in the process. Want to learn more? Check out my post on how to approach women without creeping them out.