I am into this guy who is a friend of a co-worker of mine. I see him from time to time at happy hours and we totally hit it off, but he doesn’t ask me out. I know he doesn’t have a girlfriend and isn’t gay. Can a girl ask a guy on a date? – Caitlin
Oh how I love this question. Let me tell you something, if women would take just one or two tiny more steps in some interactions to nudge Mr. Hands in Pants in the right direction, there would be a whole lot more romance dating going on in this world. You, and by you I mean the collective female gender, would be amazed at how many men are interested in you and would like to go on fun dating escapades with a lovely honey bunny such as yourself, but they, probably like you, are terrified to broach the subject for fear of rejection. I know what you are thinking, ‘well the guy needs to man up blah blah’. Well we are in a new era, where men change diapers and wear those emasculating baby carrier things and do all sorts of shit that would be deemed unthinkable to previous generations of men, why shouldn’t women also get outside their comfort gender zone a bit – you –want-it-both-ways-sexist-little-pony you.
How Can a Girl Ask a Guy Out on a Date?
The trick to getting a guy out on the town with you may be simpler than you would have imagined: Just tell him you have an extra ticket to that boring ass ballet you want to go to and he will jump all over it. Ha –psyche – do kids still say psyche? No, that is not that best move to get that guy out on a date.
As mentioned in previous articles, making a man feel more like a man, i.e. confident, in charge, etc. will inspire him to step up and actually take charge. You know how to do this already, I mean the fact that you even asked this question means you were probably laughing and giggling yourself through his lame ass jokes and mediocre stories. Bravo!
But to get the guy into boyfriend-land to step up to ask you out, or be on the yes page when you ask him out, making him feel confident around you is key. If he feels confident with you, you probably are also displaying openness to him, so if he finds you attractive he may just ask you out himself without you having to be more direct. If he is still oblivious – as men can be, you can initiate the dating dance by bringing up one of things you know that he has knowledge of (making him feel confident) and an interest in. Hopefully it is something you also have an interest in; otherwise you are just a bullshitting harlot with nothing in common who is merely trying to bed this poor chap. I suggest being a coy woman here and simply chum the water so to speak and make him bite into the date/getting together idea as if it was his own. Here are some examples of what that might look like:
Asking a Guy Out by Not Asking Him Out
Indirectly Asking the Guy Out – Scenario 1
You: Hey [potential gentleman suitor], did hear that the Three Rhinos (band) are playing next weekend at this festival.
Him: Oh really? I hadn’t heard about it. I am dying to see them…
You: Yeah I was thinking about going. Some of my friends might go to, but they have been pretty flakey lately…
In this example, you prime the stage for him to engage in a mutual interest and still you are not being direct.
Less Indirectly Asking the Guy Out – Scenario 2
You: Um Um Um this Merlot is tasty. I am in love with this vineyard.
Guy: Oh yeah? I haven’t tried that. I really like white wines these days.
You: Oh yeah I know a few local spots that have some good whites. I want to go to a couple wineries this weekend to pick up some wine. Do you want to join?
In this example, you are guiding the conversation to a place of doing something fun together, while at the same time not directly ask him out in a big stakes way. If he likes you, he will definitely make it happen, or if he is really busy, he will try to make it happen at a later time. If he doesn’t step up at this point, he just isn’t into you, or maybe he is gay after all.
So long story short, a girl can ask a guy out on a date, but she should do so in an indirect way. He may have not asked you already for fear of rejection, or maybe you weren’t being as open with him and making him feel as confident as you could have. If you basically offered up something fun that is going on and he doesn’t display interest to you about it, he just isn’t interested and it is time to move onto someone who would love to go on one of your wine escapades and cooking making sessions.