How to meet guys organically

Forget dating apps: How to Meet Guys Organically

While I’ve no doubt that dating apps like Tinder and Bumble work for some people (I have friends who are in relationships with guys they met on Tinder), personally I think you can’t beat meeting someone organically.

The danger with dating apps is that people tend to create a false persona and build a false sense of intimacy while messaging back and forth. Have you ever had funny and witty conversations with a guy on an app and then they just seem like an entirely different person in real life?

If you meet people in the flesh, in your daily life, you’re not only building your social skills but you’ll also know whether or not you’re attracted to the person straight off the bat. No more time spent swiping right or going on awkward dates.

So how do you meet guys organically? Here are my top tips for meeting new people:

Go on vacations

When people are travelling they’re in “vacation” mode which means they’re much more relaxed and open to talking to people. You might meet the man of your dreams sitting at the airport on a long layover or swimming in the water at the beach. Lots of people travel on business so you never know, they may be single. Ideally you’ll want to meet someone who’s from the same country as you though, otherwise you can find yourself in a long distance relationship.

Visit the dog park

If you have a dog then great. If not, then borrow one. If you’ve ever wondered “Where do all the good looking guys go?” Let me tell you they’re at the dog park. Who knows, the cute guy you’ve been looking for might just sit down right next to you when you’re watching the dogs play together. The cool thing about the dog park is that people are sort of penned into one area and forced to chat to each other, with “Which one’s yours?” type conversation. It’s an easy way to get chatting since you both have something in common.

Go out alone

Do you go out with your girlfriends to bars and feel like you never meet guys? For a guy it’s pretty intimidating to approach a group of girls, plus if you’re chatting with your friends it means you’re not really paying attention to what’s going on around you. You’re too busy chatting and not really open to meeting new people. Try going out alone, sitting at a bar somewhere and just observing what’s going on around you. I know it can be a bit nerve-wracking but it’s the best way to meet new people. I’d always recommend sitting on a stool at the bar and not at table, this way you can talk to the bartender, or the person sitting next to you. Even if you’re not attracted to the person, once guys see you talking to one person, they feel like you are approachable and then it’s more likely they’ll come over.

Hit up social events

I think we can all agree that girls rarely ever meet their boyfriends in bars. They tend to be full of fuck boys and it can be hard to have a proper conversation when everyone’s wasted and the music’s too loud to be able to hear anything. But social events or networking events are a great way to meet guys because people are there to mingle and get to know each other. Who knows, a conversation about work could turn into flirting very quickly. Sites like Eventbrite and Meetup.com are great for finding events for all sorts of industries and hobbies.

Go to conferences

Conferences are also a great way to meet men, since there are plenty of networking events with free alcohol to make everyone feel more relaxed. Yes, the primary goal is to network and do business but who’s to say you can’t have a little fun while you’re there? Conferences are a great place to meet guys and they also tend to look pretty good in suits.

Try a new hobby

Ideally you want to find guys in places where you can actually talk to people and build friendships. Taking up a hobby, such as acting or climbing or tennis, could be a great way to meet single guys who have similar interests. Usually after the class there’ll be someone who suggests going out for a drink, so that’s the ideal time to get chatting.

Victoria
vbrewood@gmail.com

Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, instead my relationship advice comes from real life dating experience and lessons learnt by trial and error. All the guys I’ve dated have been very different but I certainly came across my fare share of “Mr Unavailable” types, so if you find yourself in a situation with a guy who won’t commit, hopefully these stories will help.

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