Going through a breakup is always tough – your body feels heavy, you feel like you’re drowning in misery and your heart has been ripped right out of your chest. Sometimes we grieve as if the person had died, only they’re alive and well and maybe they’ve either met someone else or they’re just not that into you anymore.
Friends tell you “get some exercise” or give you all the clichés sayings like; “someone better will come along” or “he/she wasn’t right for you anyway”. But no matter what anyone says, how you feel is how you feel and there’s nothing you can do about it.
At this point many ‘dumpees’ feel the urge to go on a bender with their friends and let off steam. They go to a club, order a round of shots, end up crying in a bathroom stall and then maybe even texting their ex “I miss you”.
Some people decide to take up a ton of new hobbies and fill up their calendar with as many activities as possible just to avoid having to be alone. As soon as they have a second to think about the breakup, they call up their friends to go out for drinks or plan a lunch date. But keeping busy is just masking the pain and not necessarily the best way of processing what’s going on.
Others close the curtains, get into their pjyamas, play sad songs and wallow in misery for weeks and weeks on end. We alll process breakups differently. You may be even tempted to get into “mission” mode and do absolutely anything to get your ex back.
However, if your boyfriend just broke up with you I’ve discovered there’s only one true way to really get over a breakup fast.
Want to know what it is?
Creating and building something. It could be writing blog posts on a new blog or starting up a new freelance business venture. It could be taking a new finance course or completing an assignment that needs doing. Or perhaps you enjoy painting and so you decide to paint a new masterpiece. When you feel like you’re moving forward and doing something worthwhile, suddenly it starts to bring a little happiness back into your life. Achievement makes you feel proud of yourself and while you may still be hurting, it soon starts to bring a smile to your face.
Whenever I’ve been through breakups myself I’ve always found that healing doesn’t come from a new haircut or taking up yoga. It’s not about going out and getting wasted in the hopes of finding someone new. The true way to rebuild your confidence and get over your ex is by focusing on building something and achieving success in some form or another.