how to make your boyfriend realize your importance

How to make your boyfriend realize your importance

Do you feel taken for granted in your relationship? Perhaps your boyfriend ignores your calls, takes ages to text back or seems to be blowing hot and cold? Or maybe you do everything for him but feel like he gives nothing in return?

It can be really frustrating to find yourself in a relationship where your boyfriend feels completely oblivious to what you need and it’s even worse if he’s manipulative.

It’s time to take action, because otherwise things will only get worse. In order to make your boyfriend realize your importance, you need to act like a high-value woman and make him value you.

Don’t do everything for him

The more you do for a guy sometimes, the less he actually notices/appreciates it. Yes it’s nice to be generous and do things for people. It feels good to give.

But give too much and a guy can start to take you for granted. There should be equal give and take in a relationship, so by stepping back and giving less, it makes him more likely to give more.

If you feel like you’re always doing his laundry, buying him gifts, making an effort to meet him when it’s convenient, fitting around his schedule…stop what you’re doing.

Lean back. Mirror him. If he does nice things for you, you do nice things for him. It’s no good complaining “I always cook for him but he never cooks for me” and expect him to change. You have to use actions. Once you stop helping him, he’ll soon notice.

Make him work for it

Men like to chase and they like to earn a woman’s affection. Ever been talking to a couple where the guy says he didn’t think she was interested but then he won her over? Men love to feel like they won a prize that was hard to get. So make him earn it. Don’t be too available. Tease him.

If he disappears for a while and comes back to you, make him work that little bit harder. Don’t immediately reply to his texts and be at his beckon call. Be busy, be unavailable and don’t be too eager to see him.

Be attractive to other people

I’m not saying flirt with other men. That can definitely backfire. But he should feel like you could have any man you wanted. Go to social events, look good, dress well. If other men are turning their heads he’ll soon start to take note that you’re a desirable woman.

A little competition never hurt!

Communicate, but in the right way

Men don’t really like to communicate. On the whole, most men don’t really enjoy talking about feelings. But sometimes it is important to communicate your needs and to let him know if something is bothering you.

When communicating with your boyfriend, avoid attacking statements. Instead, use “I feel” statements. For example, instead of saying “you’re always late, you’re so disrespectful” it’s best to say something like “when you’re late it makes me feel like you don’t respect my time”. See the difference? It’s subtle but effective. You’re not blaming or attacking, you’re simply explaining.

When you’ve finished talking, let him talk and really listen. It’s also important to not have too many “feeling chats”. If you’re constantly trying to talk to him about “issues” he doesn’t have time to just enjoy your company. And the more you complain, the more likely he is to avoid you. Know when to say something and when to keep quiet.

Act the way you feel

Do you feel upset? Do you feel betrayed? Do you feel annoyed with him? If that’s the way you feel, then take some space. Don’t lean forward, lean back.

Ignore him for a while, give him the cold shoulder.

It’s all too tempting to try to fix things, to try to communicate and solve the problem. Sometimes we even try harder to win a man’s love and affection. He doesn’t call, so we send another text. We give the guy attention that he doesn’t really deserve.

By doing that you’re leaning forward – you’re trying instead of leaning back. So lean all the way back, pull away yourself and let him figure out what he’s done wrong.

Have your own life

It’s nice to have couple time but if you’re spending too much time glued to your boyfriend and not making time for your friends, you’re losing yourself. If you’re always around he never has time to miss your presence.

We all have friends who suddenly disappear off the radar because they got a boyfriend. Don’t be that person. Plan dinner dates, socialize, keep up with your hobbies. Don’t make your life revolve around him.

If you have your own life he will see that and realize your life doesn’t revolve entirely around him.

Do great things

If you’re out doing great things, whether it’s building a business, getting a promotion at work or raising money for charity, he will see that. If everyone else sees your importance, he should start to see your importance too. And if he doesn’t, well maybe it’s time to move on.

Know when to walk away

Relationships are never easy. Sometimes no matter what you do, a man won’t realize your worth. Sometimes you can do all these things and it still doesn’t kickstart him to change or take notice. If you’re an amazing woman who doesn’t feel valued, remember you’re incredible ands there is someone out there who will think so. The longer you spend with someone who can’t see your worth, you’re missing out on someone who will.

Victoria
vbrewood@gmail.com

Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, instead my relationship advice comes from real life dating experience and lessons learnt by trial and error. All the guys I’ve dated have been very different but I certainly came across my fare share of “Mr Unavailable” types, so if you find yourself in a situation with a guy who won’t commit, hopefully these stories will help.

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