Can a girl ask a guy on a date

I asked a guy out on a date and here’s what happened…

I’m usually in the “let him come to you”, “men like to hunt” camp when it comes to dating. It’s the safest option, especially if you’re someone who is afraid of rejection. 

Men are pretty used to rejection. Traditionally, men have always been the ones to ask women out. 

Women, not so much. We tend to worry and agonize over little details, and rejection doesn’t come so easy. I’m not saying it’s any easier for men, they just have far more experience of it than us and I would say, probably brush it off faster. 

But one day, when I was stressing over why this cute guy wasn’t asking me out again, a friend of mine made a valid point.

“What exactly are you afraid of? If you ask, you will find out the answer. And yes, it may hurt for a split second if you’re rejected, but at least you will know.”

I then asked a few guy friends what they thought of being asked out. Responses were all along the lines of, “I’d love it if a girl asked me out – takes the pressure off me doing it all the time!”

My mind also recalled this article in our “ASK A GUY” series, where Turner said you can absolutely ask a guy out on a date

So, tired of being in limbo, I decided to give it a try. I sent a text inviting the guy to a group event. It seemed like a very low key way to ask someone out, without making too much of a big deal.

Sadly he was busy that weekend, but then I went one step further. “Fancy a drink next week then?”

I was half expecting no reply, or perhaps a “Sorry I’m super busy at the moment” text. But what happened was actually pleasantly surprising…

His answer? “Definitely.”

This was the little nudge he needed. After that of course, I let him pick the day and the place.

The date was great, and sadly while nothing ever came of it after that, I did manage to ask a guy out and have him say “yes”. 

Now, I do still think that if a guy likes you he will ask you out. When I asked those same guy friends, “Would you ask the girl out if she didn’t do it?” They all said yes.

So if you ask a guy out, be prepared that he may say no, or he may say yes but not be fully interested. 

Or, perhaps you could have such an amazing date that he wonders why he never asked you first. That’s the nature of dating I guess, but someone at some point has to make a move. 

Victoria
vbrewood@gmail.com

Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, instead my relationship advice comes from real life dating experience and lessons learnt by trial and error. All the guys I’ve dated have been very different but I certainly came across my fare share of “Mr Unavailable” types, so if you find yourself in a situation with a guy who won’t commit, hopefully these stories will help.

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