I gave him my number but he hasn’t text me. I can’t tell you how many times I have met men who have asked for my information, but they never texted or called. It is driving me mad.
Okay Ladies…[cue trumpets] it’s about to get real here. Unlike the reasons a man doesn’t call when he says he will after you have been dating or done the dirty dirty, the reason/s may not be nearly as sinister, ill intended or utterly cowardly non-confrontational as is the former.
Meeting Mr. Right Who Can Also Use a Fucking Phone
Let’s start with a common situation: you are at some social junction, let’s say Suzie’s birthday bash, and you meet a guy and it just-feels-righttttt. You lock eyes from across the room and causally make your way toward the food table and the 7-layer bean dip. A very Lady and the Tramp moment unfolds as your chips touch as the plunge toward guacamole center of the aforementioned 7-layer bean dip. He is cute and doesn’t have janky teeth. You both are into the mandolin and cats and he remarks how much he appreciates a girl woman who is wildly independent and career minded. As the conversation slowly runs out of steam, this mysterious gentleman suggests getting together at some other time by asking for your number, or more likely these days, he is even less direct and asks to exchange social media handles. Great. You have successfully moved one step away from a life in convent or cat collecting and into the gruesome big wide world of dating music chairs. However, often times this guy never calls, texts, or social media contacts besides the initial adding, or even worse, sends a feeble “hey, what’s up?”. Meanwhile, you are left screaming “what the fuck? I thought we were meant to play the mandolin together?!?!?!”
So what happened?
Top Reasons He Didn’t Text You
You Didn’t Show Him Enough Interest
Let’s face it ladies, men need to feel the love. Maybe it was his dear sweet mother constantly praising him for being a sweet little boy, or maybe he got one too many participation ribbons growing up – the point is the guy should also feel excited in the conversation too. Which means YOU need to show interest too. Maybe even overtly. Most men can be pretty oblivious. We are linear creatures . Anyway, nothing spurs a guy’s confidence on more and gives him those warm tummy feelings deep down than when beautiful lady shows genuine interest in him. So remember dating is a two way street. How many girls have blown him off who has called after getting their number?
He Got Busy, Forgot, and Too Much Time Passed and He Lost That Lovin Feeling
Yeah this point sounds like bullshit, but really isn’t. People have really busy lives and some people have really stressful jobs – like me, siting here in my boxers at 4pm grueling over this keyboard like a modern day coal worker. In truth, he probably really liked you and enjoyed your charming conversation skills, but his life took hold and by the time he remembered a couple weeks had passed, his feelings were less clear and he thought you wouldn’t remember him because you must talk to a lot of guys. You are charming…remember?
The Conversation and your Vibe was ‘Meh’ and ADD
I can’t tell you how many conversational zombies I meet nowadays. Really. Part of it stems from a narcissism driven by social media and being raised by helicopter parents who deem us the center of the universe, but taking interest in others and mustering the mental fortitude to not look at your fucking iPhone during the conversation to see Julie’s Instagram pics of her cheesecake means a lot. It’s weird how autopilot people become, but tuning people out with your ADD isn’t doing you any favors in the amor department Caitlin. You can share many similar interests but the vibe of the conversation will still be killed if you aren’t present with the chap.
He Only Asked For Your Number as a Social Convention or Option
He probably enjoyed the conversation with you enough to chalk you up as a potential, but the next day when the booze wore off, he was left feeling like he didn’t connect with you enough. Or maybe he just went on autopilot and to end the conversation he asked for your info. Or maybe he is a prick playing the numbers game and an easier number came along later on in the evening. Anyway you slice it, sometimes shit happens.
How to Inspire this probably mediocre, average achieving guy Tame that Wild Stallion to Call You Like the Good Little Pony He Should Be
So the reoccurring theme in all of the aforementioned points is that you my darling little sashimi, must make sure you actually connect with this gentleman and he leaves feeling excited to call you. It shouldn’t feel like when he walks away, that there is any doubt how you will be on the other line when he rings. He should feel confident and comfortable enough as though he is calling a friend and knows you will be stoked on the other end of phone. I know – tall order Chris, tall order.
1) Be Present i.e. check your social media addiction at the door weirdo
2) Make it easy for him to call you. For example, if he has a reason or an excuse such as getting the name of that groovy mandolin jam band you guys talked about but couldn’t quite remember the name? (wink wink, being sly work for ladies too). So try to plug those into the conversation.
3) Smile. Yes, show him you too aren’t some snaggle toothed harpy and his heart will feel much warmer for some reason. Weird, its like people like happy people.
4) Don’t be afraid to tap into your feminine spirit (more on this to come in future posts). It will make him tap into his masculine energy and he will feel more confident.
5) Challenge him. During conversation don’t be afraid to throw some fuel on the fire and spark some banter. Just remember, there is a fine line with some poking and jabbing – a little Mohammad Ali action, and being a cunt jerk.
So in conclusion, and as always, if you ever find yourself getting angry at and wondering why didn’t he call – just smile and remember that the guy did you a favor by showing you he wasn’t going to rise to the challenge. He saved you time to invest elsewhere – maybe the mandolin. Thank him and men in general. You will be much happier for it:)
So you have any puzzling, no-call -back, dating stories and want to share? Throw something at us in the comments below.