Boyfriend keeps teasing me

My boyfriend keeps teasing me, what should I do?

So, you’ve finally found a relationship but there’s one problem, he teases you. 

It could be that he teases you about your height or your lack of cooking skills. Perhaps he mimics your accent or plays pranks with you based on your phobias. 

The question you should ask yourself here is, “How does it make me feel?”

If his teasing makes you feel bad, sad or downright annoyed, it doesn’t matter if he’s “just kidding”! 

Sometimes partners will try to tell you that you’re “too sensitive” or can’t take a joke and maybe to an extent that’s true.

But the point is, we can’t help how we feel and so if it makes you feel bad, it’s a sign that perhaps this is not the relationship you are meant to be in. 

Relationships aren’t always easy but the right partner should make us feel good about ourselves, not leave us feeling bad. 

Signs of teasing

I once had a boyfriend who would NOT STOP tickling me, or sometimes throwing himself on top of me and not letting me go. He thought it was funny but I on the other hand, found it to be absolute torture. 

Yes I might have been laughing, but this was purely a reflex to being tickled,  and eventually I would find myself in tears, yelling STOP! or kicking him to get him off. It was only when I would yell at him and storm out that he would realize he’d gone too far. 

Every time I confronted him about the fact that I hated being tickled, he would make fun of my anger, saying it was “cute”. While we broke up for other reasons outside of this, I never ever forgot this trait and would see it as a dealbreaker when dating anyone else. 

The inability to listen means he was more interested in his own entertainment than my happiness. 

Of course, there are plenty of other ways you might end up being teased. Your boyfriend might tease you about your appearance, the way you dance or perhaps the way you look when you get up in the morning. 

A little bit of teasing is normal in relationships and it can be a sign of affection. But continuous teasing, or teasing about things that upset you, isn’t very fun.

If it’s an attack of your character and you feel like you’re being criticized all the time, then you could be dealing with a narcissist

What to do if your boyfriend keeps teasing you

The first thing to do is to try and open a dialogue with your boyfriend. Explain to him how it makes you feel and that you would like him to stop doing it. Make it clear that you would have no problems ending the relationship if it doesn’t stop. 

If he’s emotionally developed, he’ll realize it’s bothering you and make efforts to stop or at least cut back on the teasing. Relationships are about communication, compromise and learning how to respect each others feelings. 

If he keeps doing it and refuses to listen or change his ways, it’s a sign that he is getting a kick out of putting you down. In that case, it’s time to let him go. If you’re not happy, you have to be the one to say enough is enough and walk away. 

Some people grow up with being teased by their close family and relatives and that’s normal for them, but if it’s not normal for you then it’s time to find a relationship without the teasing. 


Victoria
vbrewood@gmail.com

Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, instead my relationship advice comes from real life dating experience and lessons learnt by trial and error. All the guys I’ve dated have been very different but I certainly came across my fare share of “Mr Unavailable” types, so if you find yourself in a situation with a guy who won’t commit, hopefully these stories will help.

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