The Right Way to Have Anal Sex

The Right Way to Have Anal Sex

Thinking about trying anal sex? If you’ve never done it before then the whole thing can feel a bit daunting. You may have heard horror stories about it being painful, or things getting rather…erm…how do we put it? Messy. But done right, anal sex can be fun for both partners – all you have to do is prepare.

So what is the right way to have anal sex? Here’s the lowdown:

Who likes anal sex?

Lots of people. Myself for one. People often like anal sex because it seems a little bit more naughty and more ‘off-limits’. As a girl, I like anal sex because it feels more intimate and makes me feel more vulnerable, which adds an extra thrill to love making. Men often say it’s generally a tighter and more snug fit doing anal, plus it brings out their primal and dominant side.

Of course anal isn’t for everyone and if you try it and don’t like it, you shouldn’t feel pressured into doing anal.

How to Prepare for Anal Sex

Douche

I can’t stress this part enough. If you’re having anal sex for the first time, you don’t want the embarrassment of seeing your own shit all over your partner’s dick when they pull out. This is NOT the image you had in mind is it?

So first things first, make sure you’ve been to the bathroom and pooped. Purchase an anal douche from Ann Summers or any online sex store such as Love Honey. I have this one the Love Honey – its basic, cheap and does the job. Alternatively you could use an Evian bottle, like Bryan Boy.

Never used a douche before? You basically fill the douche with water in the sink, crouch in a comfortable position and insert the nozzle into your ass. Squeeze the bulb, filling your ass with as much water as possible. Once done, pull the nozzle out, hold the water in for a few seconds (maybe jiggle up and down), then sit on the loo and push it all out. Repeat the process until the water runs clear and there’s no more poop in your butt. I could go into more detail, but there are lots of instructions on the Internet for this. Watch the video from Love Honey to see how to use an anal douche: https://youtu.be/WaLtfNAPFM0

Buy some anal toys

The best way to get yourself prepped for anal is by investing in some toys, such as a butt plug or anal beads. Butt plugs come in different sizes, so start with a smaller one and work your way up to the larger ones. I made the mistake of buying a butt plug that was too big, then realising I couldn’t actually fit it in. It’s fine now and I use it all the time, but in the beginning you’ll want something a bit slimmer so as not to cause any pain.

When you have some time to yourself, practice using some of these toys. Figure out what works for you, what positions you like and whether you even like the sensation. But honestly, having something in your ass while you’re masturbating is actually pretty hot.

Use lube

You’ll need lots and lots of lube: dry anal is definitely a no-go. You can buy KY jelly in any supermarket but there are also lots of special anal lubricants on Love Honey.

How to have anal sex

When you’re ready to have anal sex with your partner, the most important thing is to feel comfortable. Don’t let him slip it in when you’re drunk at 3am or decide to do this on a whim. Plan for it, relax and make sure you’ve douched.

Next, engage in lots of foreplay. Let him lick your butt if he’s into that and use the toys to loosen everything up. Your anus will gradually stretch out and your muscles will relax. Only when you’ve done all this should you let him anywhere near your butt hole.

When you’re ready, go really, really slowly. If you go too fast then it could feel painful and you might end up with an anal fissure (small tear), so just ease into it really gradually. It might feel a little uncomfortable to begin with, kind of like you’re shitting backwards, but if you feel pain then you should stop and take a rest.

Once he’s in, give it a few seconds before he’s starts thrusting in and out. Make sure he goes slow and only let him increase the speed when you feel absolutely comfortable.

Best positions for anal sex

You may want to try a position that gives you more control, like being on top, either facing him or facing away. That way you can go at your own pace, easing yourself down onto his penis. If you want to go with the rear entry option, then lying on your side in a spooning position can be the most comfortable and intimate. Missionary is also OK because you can guide his penis in slowly and the angle feels quite nice.

Doggie style probably isn’t best for your first time as you risk him just shoving it in there and being in pain.

The right way to have anal sex

Anal sex is meant to be a pleasurable experience. If done right, you can have orgasms like never before. If you climax, it can feel like you’re actually coming in your ass and your vagina. Often people say that they tried anal sex once and it hurt, or they’re too worried about things getting messy that it takes the fun away. The right way to have anal sex is to prepare, to relax and do it with someone you’re really comfortable with. Then it can be awesome.

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Victoria
vbrewood@gmail.com

Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, instead my relationship advice comes from real life dating experience and lessons learnt by trial and error. All the guys I’ve dated have been very different but I certainly came across my fare share of “Mr Unavailable” types, so if you find yourself in a situation with a guy who won’t commit, hopefully these stories will help.

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