What You Need to Know about Dating a Divorced Man in his 30s and 40s

It is fair to say that most divorced people in their 30s and 40s come with some baggage. This makes finding Mr. Right a bit if a tricky proposition, but as long as you pay close attention to the points we are about to make below, you shouldn’t end up getting your fingers too badly burned. Here are some valuable tips for any woman (or guy!) dating a divorced man.

Divorced with Kids

The majority of divorced men will have children. It’s par for the course when you date an older guy. Some will have very young children and others will have kids who have flown the nest. You may also have children, so if you subsequently forge a lasting relationship, you will have to deal with the trials and tribulations of a “blended family”.

Do not let kids put you off. You will find that in most cases, the man will be a part-time father, so he should have at least every other weekend free for you. However, be wary of putting too much pressure on him to ditch the kids in favor of you. He might just decide that you are too much like hard work. And besides, do you really want to date a man who doesn’t take his responsibilities seriously?

Mr. Commitment-Phobe

Once you start dating older guys, you will soon discover that a lot of them have serious commitment issues. Divorces can leave a lot of scars, not all of them obvious ones. However, you can learn to spot the signs of a commitment-phobe if you know what to look out for.

Commitment-phobes, otherwise known as emotionally unavailable men, are emotionally scarred after a painful divorce. Perhaps the divorce wasn’t their choice, or their ex-wife took them to the cleaners. Either way, if you are looking for a stable, long-term relationship, this man is not worth waiting around for.

Be very afraid if a man sweeps you off your feet and then blows hot and cold. Run away fast from a man who spends hours talking about how his ex-wife hurt his feelings. This type of man will cause you all manner of grief.

The Nasty Divorce

As well as bearing the emotional scars left behind by a toxic divorce, many men are also financially destroyed post-divorce. Some of them are left with so little money that they end up living back with mom and dad or are forced to rent a cheap apartment. Don’t let this put you off. Just because a man has fallen on hard times it doesn’t mean you can’t date him. Show a little empathy and treat him to a nice meal instead of expecting him to pay for you. His fortunes could change soon!

Excluding all divorced men from your dating hopefuls is extremely limiting, so be willing to overlook kids and a lack of cash when perusing profiles on a dating website. However, be careful about dating a man who still talks to his ex-wife every hour or spends a lot of time with her. They clearly have unresolved issues, which doesn’t bode well.


Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, instead my relationship advice comes from real life dating experience and lessons learnt by trial and error. All the guys I’ve dated have been very different but I certainly came across my fare share of “Mr Unavailable” types, so if you find yourself in a situation with a guy who won’t commit, hopefully these stories will help.

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