why does he read my messages but not reply

Why does he read my messages but not reply?

Whether it’s two blue ticks on WhatsApp, the “seen” feature on Facebook and Instagram, or the “read” notification on iMessage – being stuck on “read” is really annoying. 

You sent a message, he had the time to read it but for some reason, couldn’t take the time to text back.

“Why? Why does he read my messages but not reply”

It’s an incredibly frustrating situation to be in and it can make you want to send him even more texts wondering what the hell is going on. 

Here we’ll take a look at the possible reasons as to why he doesn’t reads your texts but doesn’t reply.

He doesn’t know what to say

Did you ask him if he wants to grab a drink this evening? It’s entirely possible that he possibly doesn’t want to grab a drink, or he’s busy, but he doesn’t know what to say. He knows that by texting you back he’ll have to let you down and he doesn’t really want to do that. So what does he do? He reads it, then doesn’t reply, and waits till it’s too late to meet up. Eventually you get a response, “sorry was at the gym/got stuck at work/[insert excuse]. In this instance, he was curious enough to read the message but he was afraid of texting you back.

He’s afraid of confrontation

This ties in with the previous explanation: men will do ANYTHING to avoid confrontation. While women prefer to talk about their emotions and hash things out, men would rather just say nothing at all. So ask yourself, what did you text him? Did you get annoyed with him? Did you call him out on something? Did you give him an ultimatum? If so, it could be that he doesn’t want to text back because he simply doesn’t want to get into an argument or long discussion right now. Yes, it’s incredibly annoying and actually makes things 10x worse when he ignores you, but that’s just what men tend to do. 

He’s genuinely busy

It could just be that he’s genuinely busy. He may have accidentally opened it when he was in the middle of doing something, or he read it and forgot to respond because he got distracted. If there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong between the two of you, then definitely give it a few hours before you start to panic. He may just be busy at work or out at dinner with friends  and doesn’t want to be rude by sitting on his phone texting. 

He might be intentionally ignoring you

If you’re a text gnat or you’ve been acting needy, he may ignore your message intentionally because he wants to let you know that he is ignoring you on purpose. He’s letting you know that he needs space and telling you to back off…with silence.

He’s not that into you

If he’s not texting you back, or he’s taking ages to text back, it could be that he’s not that into you. He’s not actively ignoring you but actually his subconscious mind forgets your message because you’re just not that important to him. 

He’s formulating a response

Ever read a message and think…”What do I say? What can I say that’s funny back?” Guys are probably thinking that too. So it could just be that he read your message and he’s trying to craft a witty response back.

He’s letting you down gently

Have you sent a few messages and had no response? It could be that he doesn’t ever intend to reply because he’s ghosting you. He’s a coward and instead of telling you that he’s not interested, he thinks it’s easier to just go silent, in the hopes that you’ll get the hint. 

There are many reasons why a guy might read your messages but not text back. The important thing is how you handle it. Avoid the urge to send a double text or ask if there’s something wrong. Give him ample time to reply and if he hasn’t responded in a day or two, send him something lighthearted to see if you can grab his attention. 

If he does it once or twice it could just be that he’s busy and didn’t have the time to reply. But if it happens all the time, you might want to think to yourself if you can handle that type of communication. If it bothers you, it might be time to let go and move onto someone else. 

Victoria
vbrewood@gmail.com

Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, instead my relationship advice comes from real life dating experience and lessons learnt by trial and error. All the guys I’ve dated have been very different but I certainly came across my fare share of “Mr Unavailable” types, so if you find yourself in a situation with a guy who won’t commit, hopefully these stories will help.

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